Final Word from Thursday, January 29, 2015
Dear Mr. Ambassador, Dear Andy, I send you this handwritten note by way of a trusted friend because I can't take any chances. Please understand, I'm under constant scrutiny due to the ČSSD congress. The knives are out, and PPF/O2 might even be listening to my phone calls. I've had to get tougher in my rhetoric to prove my anti-American and pro-Russian credibility. I wanted to warn you, but the old drunk's speech about the "super Holocaust" took me by surprise, and I had to ad lib it. I hope it didn't bother you the way I criticized the lingering Bush foreign policy. After all, your boss did it in the State of the Union address too. Please don't give up on me. I was worried to see that you visited Babiš at his farm. He's just playing with you; I'm the real counterbalance to Zeman/Sobotka/Mládek/Dlouhý. I know I messed things up with Washington by siding with the Russians on the radar, but I've worked that off, haven't I? Maybe I'll even fire Drulák. Please bear with me, Andy. I'll have more flexibility after the party elections. I promise. Your most loyal friend, Luboš. [Czech Republic Andrew Schapiro Lubomír Zaorálek Dmitri Medvedev Barack Obama George W. Bush United States of America O2 CR Petr Drulák conference Miloš Zeman Andrej Čapí hnízdo Jan Mládek Vladimír Dlouhý Bohuslav Sobotka]
Glossary of difficult words
Note: This is political satire. Lubomír Zaorálek did not actually write such a letter.
plea - a request made in an urgent and emotional manner;
the knives are out - used in a situation when people are being unpleasant to each other or are trying to harm each other;
to ad lib - to speak or perform in public without previously preparing one's words;
lingering - lasting for a long time or slow to end;
to work something off - to pay off a debt or obligation by working for it;
to bear with - to be patient or tolerant with;
I'll have more flexibility after the election - a famous statement made by Barack Obama to Dmitri Medvedev and caught on a live mike.